Unworthy to Worship
Recently I was standing beside my newborn daughter's crib, cradling her in my arms and rocking her back and forth. I was trying to soothe her down for a little nap, and I was suddenly so overcome with glad emotion that God had made this barren woman a mother....again.
As I swayed gently with her in the dim light, I began to sing softly to my Heavenly Father, filled with joy and marvel at this precious pink bundle that He had given to me.
I was singing and humming and began to be caught up in worshiping the Lord:
"Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, worthy is the Lamb who was slain! Highest praises, honor and glory, be unto Your name...be unto Your name.." Before I could finish these words, I stopped singing.
How many days had it been since I had read my Bible? I hadn't made it to church yet since the baby was born. I was wearing pajama pants and a shirt covered in spit up....from yesterday, I think. I had been wrestling with those crazy postpartum hormones (and losing), and I'd lost it (again) with my husband and my preschooler.
Until I could get myself together a bit more and find the wherewithal in this season of newborn-fog to spend time confessing my sins, and until I could get back into the scripture and spend time in prayer, I had no business worshiping before the throne of the Lord God Almighty. I was in no way worthy to echo the words of that song that the throng of heaven cries out in worship before Him who is seated on the throne (Revelation 4:8-11).
I would have to pay penance for my stumbling and sin. Some time would have to elapse before I could freely and unashamedly approach the Father in worship and praise. I would have to come to the Lord as a slave rather than as a son, for I had lost the privilege to enter His presence with emotion, affection, boldness, and joy.
I was unworthy to worship the Lord.
And just as quickly as those thoughts had stopped my song in its tracks, I remembered the gospel. And I stood there snuggling my baby girl, kind of shocked at myself and very grateful to be jolted back to Truth:
"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21 God does not put me in "time out" because I haven't had my quiet time or because I haven't served Him adequately. God is not miffed at me because I am insufficient to serve and love Him.
Rather, if I could serve God adequately by keeping all the "rules," then Christ died for no purpose! (Galatians 2:21)
I boldly approach the throne of grace because the Lamb who was slain for my sins is my great high priest, Jesus, the Son of God, who "has passed through the heavens" (Hebrews 4:14-16).
"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God." Romans 5:1-2 Not only have I received forgiveness for my sins, but I also stand firm and am secure in this justification right now. All the things I should not have done, Christ has forgiven; and all the things I should have done, Christ did....and His righteousness has been credited to my account.
I am clothed with His righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). When the Father looks at this weak, tired, and selfish mother, feebly attempting to offer praise to the eternally holy King of Kings, He sees a woman who possesses the righteousness of Christ.
My sins are forgiven, and through the imputed work of Christ, I have kept the whole law and am made worthy. And so, with confidence I burst headlong into that glorious throne room (Revelation 4), worshiping God and calling out, "Abba! Father!" (Romans 8:15).
When he shall come with trumpet sound, O may I then in him be found, Dressed in his righteousness alone, Faultless to stand before the throne. On Christ the solid rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All other ground is sinking sand. (Edward Mote)
Friend, have you received the righteousness of Christ? If you want to find peace with God, you will only find it through the Lord Jesus Christ. Repent and turn from trusting in your own righteousness, and trust instead in Jesus for the forgiveness of your sins. You will be justified eternally and clothed with the righteousness of Christ. By faith in Jesus, you obtain access to the Father and eternal peace with God through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ.
♥ .. amanda