Making Sense of Romans 8:28 | the testimony of a bereaved mother
What a privilege and blessing it is for me to offer to you these words of truth and life by one of my dearest friends, Daphne McKibben. On March 16, 2013, Daphne unexpectedly lost her almost 19-year-old son, Larry. Daphne shares hope and encouragement with us through her honesty in struggling with Romans 8:28, and she also introduces to you two ministries that are precious to her as a bereaved mother. I am praying with full confidence that God will use her words to comfort and strengthen your hearts. ♥ .. amanda "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Just to know You and to make You known We lift Your name on high Shine like the sun, make darkness run and hide We know we were made for so much more than ordinary lives Its time for us to more than just survive We were made to thrive (Matthew Joseph West | Casting Crowns)I went to a retreat last weekend for bereaved mothers. It was the best thing I've done toward dealing with grief since Larry left us.
The retreat was at a beautiful retreat center in Pleasant Station, TN, and from the moment I drove up until the time I left, I don't think there was anything they could have done to make us moms feel more special. It was one of the most emotional yet fun weekends I've had in a long time.
We talked about our sons and daughters with moms who completely understand the struggle to try and make sense of the death of a child. We cried and laughed and hugged and cried some more.
There were workshops that focused on ways to put grief behind you without feeling like you were forgetting about your precious child's life. It was an awesome weekend and I'd recommend any mom to attend who has experienced any child loss either through accident, sickness, or miscarriage. It was so very helpful, and I'm thankful I went.
While there, I finally made sense of something I've struggled with for a long time, and that's Romans 8:28:
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." So many well-intentioned people share this verse with families that have just suffered the loss of a child. And I'm just going to go ahead and say it out loud:
When you've just made funeral arrangements, seen your son in a casket and kissed his face for the last time, and are about to bury him in the ground, telling a mom that it's all going to work together for good is not a comfort.
Hearing that verse over and over and trying to make sense of it when my grief was so fresh caused me so much confusion and doubt. How could anything good ever, ever, EVER come from the death of my precious son, Larry? I just could not wrap my mind around that verse and I'd cringe when I heard it.
Romans 8:28 was always shared with me in such a way that sounded like God was going to do something wonderful in my life to make up for the great loss of my son, and that's just not true. God does want to use Larry's death to bring about good but the good is found in the last part of the verse:
"...all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to HIS purpose."
All things do work together for good to those who love God, and that good is to bring honor and Glory to Him...
It's not about me! It's all about God. I lost so many things when I lost Larry, and all the things that I lost were good. But somehow, that's what had to happen in my life to bring God glory. God chose it for His purpose. Nothing is ever going to come along and replace Larry.
Larry's life had purpose and so did his death, and I'm glad I can finally say that, even if I don't really understand it all, I know God is glorified through it. It's only through His continued grace toward me that I can put my grief behind me and walk toward a life of joy.
Touching Hearts Ministry and Enough Grace Ministries are the two groups responsible for the retreat that I attended. If the retreat is something that you would be interested in, please look them up or feel free to contact me.* I promise, you will be blessed.
Joy unspeakable, faith unsinkable Love unstoppable, anything is possible
Daphne McKibben is the wife and mother of four children, the youngest of whom recently graduated high school, ending Daphne's 18-year home schooling career. Daphne has a new daughter-in-law, is the oldest female CrossFitter at her gym, and cherishes time spent with her family.
(*If you would like to get in touch with Daphne, please use the contact form on the blog, and I'll make sure that she receives your message. ♥)
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:18-39
